Pain in Many Forms
by Sekaya93
Summary: An story about the stresses of an emo kid in my view.


She sits there just listening to their combined voices, like the whole world has just ganged up on her, telling how she should do this and how she should do that. This time it was that she SHOULD get on the treadmill for and hour. However, they didn't just ask her to, they EXPECTED her to just because they suggested that she do so. They went on and on and on making her feel like the lowest scum in the world, talking to each other like she wasn't even there, like the preps in school who talk about her and exasperate her thoroughly, to the point of her limits.

They have no idea what they do to her, as they continued talking like they were the bullies back in high school. She could feel the tingling agitated feeling run up her scar covered pale arms and down through her chest. She gritted her teeth in irritation. She felt like screaming but that would only make them continue to talk more and their voices would escalate louder than they already are. So she just kept quiet and waited for them to stop. They do this constantly every weekend and every day for the last few hours after school until it was time for bed. No matter what she did, she always got a lecture.

Her fists clenched together as she turned her back and stomped up the stairs mumbling, loud enough for her to hear, how worthless she is going to be if she doesn't. Guilt trips always seem to be how her parents get what they want, they make their kids feel like shit so that they will feel they HAVE to do it.

She used to cry. Tears streaming and breath in a quickening pace, also a headache that normally followed. She was tired of being labeled as the cry baby. She was a very emotional girl. Her emotions in themselves were 10 times stronger than any normal persons emotions.

Love, when she would fall in love it would be quick and head over heels. Jealousy, she had ruined many of her friends relationships because she would be so jealous and it would crush her heart from the inside out. Sadness and Anger, which go hand in hand, she would cry for hours on end and she couldn't stop, and her anger would get so out of control she actually punched a hole through her sister's door because she had gotten irritated beyond belief at her sister. Any emotion and it would be escalated more than it should.

She turned and slammed the door and started to tear up. She ran over to her bed and rummaged through her desk until she found her hidden arrow head blade of her father's. She took it out having a firm grip on it with her fingers. She held her left forearm up with the scars of the past facing her. As a tear ran down her cheek she slid the blade quickly over the sensitive skin of her forearm with a tiny gasp of pleasure. The slight sting in her arm sent tingles up through her veins and into her heart which calmed her and took the pain away. The tears instantly stopped. Another, she sliced the blade quickly along her arm with another gasp. The blood was beading out of the two cuts she made slowly. One more and she stopped.

She placed her lips to the slowly bleeding cuts and licked the blood off. She tasted the sweet taste of iron and that signature taste of blood. She started to suck the blood from the wound for so it would stop bleeding faster. Once she was done, she placed a bandage over the cuts and smoothed it out, looking at the bloodless blade lying in her hand. She placed the blade on her desk and stared up at the ceiling, breathing slightly hard. The adrenaline that pain gave her was amazing. She had always been an adrenaline junkie. It started even when she was only a few months old. When she practically dove in to a fire to get her bottle but her father caught her in midair just in time. And the first time she rolled over and hit a chair then landed on the floor. Her mother never understood why when she picked her up her baby daughter was laughing hysterically instead of crying. Or when she would get in random scuffles with her cousins. However, sports also gave her a surge of a rush during a game that she couldn't explain. During a game she felt no pain, no exhaustion, but the minute the game was over she had completely crashed. Then it led to rollercoasters, which is practically self explanatory. But then, she discovered something that topped everything on her list, something that was wrong but it felt so good to get the pain in her chest to go away, she had started to snap herself with a rubber band, then eventually led to cutting. Between the childish bullies and preps at school, the confusing and frustrating void that is her love life, and the stress from parents and coaches, she can barely handle staying alive.

She just couldn't wait to graduate and get the hell out of the house that was full of stress. She would aften ask to go to her friends house on the weekends to escape the stress at home, however her parents don't allow her to she any of her friends. She felt trapped in her own home. Suffocating to death by her own parents. Every teenager has most if not all of these problems everyday, however it is even harder for a girl who has ADHD, chronic depression and anxiety disorders to get along in the world. Most of the time she feels like the whole world is turning on her.

But there are 2 people whom she can turn to escape everything. Her boyfriend John who makes her feel like a princess and like she is the most beautiful person in the world when he is around. And her best friend in the entire world, Kelcy, who helps he thorough anything, and with the help of online role playing, she can escape the stresses of reality for a short time.

Just then as she was lying there she sat up and put her head in her hands. She could feel the touch of her guardian angel to comfort her. She almost came to hate her guardian angel, she always wondered why she always let bad things happen to her. It sometimes felt as if she got abandoned and discarded by her guardian. And other times its as if she is there to give her strength. She got up and went over to her dresser and put on a long sleeved shirt and jeans and sat out on the couch to watch TV considering her parents went elsewhere. She just sat and started to relax and try to get her mind off of what she just did and what caused her to do just that. She had to have some distraction. She sent a short prayer up to her guardian angel to help protect her and then slowly drifted to sleep with her favorite show on TV on…


End file.
